May Day and angsty things

May Day, more like MAYDAY!

Here's the thing with me right now, if you really want to know.

I always used to think of my relationships like sticks or boards. Something sturdy yet bendable, and able to withstand time and testing. They were always the foundation of everything I was, and really kept everything together. 

Lately, I have been feeling that those beams of my relationships have been serving a different purpose. They aren't keeping me attached, rather distanced from those that I care about. I know that this is probably just a mood. Everything is changing, and I can't control that. It's scary. I'm sure it will be gone within a week, but with the coming of college and things, I am legitimately worried. 

Maybe this is something I should be putting somewhere else, I don't really know. But the truth is, that those boards, no matter how sturdy they are, have broken before. With time, (if we're keeping with the wood image) I have sanded them down and (like my newly acquired skill) I have stained them and made them easier to look back at. 

But it's fine, ups and down are to be expected. I can handle it, not that I am helping this situation anyways. Gahhhh, I could totally probably solve this for myself, I just asdfhasjkl so many things. Okay yeah I'm done now.

P.S. I stained a chair while under house arrest (enacted by my parents, not the law) this weekend!

Peace.