College... Blahh

UGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

If you haven't figured out that I am a drama queen by now, I guess you will never understand. However, if you do know me, you will also know that I have to be the WORST decision maker ever!

So as the calendar days get slowly scratched off, they remind me that I have a decision to make. So naturally I am doing another thing that I am great at. Ignoring it. 

I really need to stop doing all of these things. I need to face the facts and see that, no matter how much I don't want to, I will be heading off to college next September. As much as I would like to pack up all of my things, invest the money allotted for my education in an automobile, and just take off, I can't. 

Well, I would desperately need a traveling buddy too. This past weekend has been FAR too quiet for me, and I think that I am starting to go crazy in side my own head.

I think I sometimes forget about all of the places that I can go to write down my thoughts. I have here, secret blog, and journal. But I guess the things that I really need to get out of my head, I don't really want to be somewhere forever, permanent. I guess I could write in pencil...

See, too many thoughts, I have gotten off track! (aren't we all surprised!) 

Anyways... college. Sometimes I love the thought of it, other times, I absolutely loathe it. I need to come to terms with reality, and realize that this is happening no matter what. I will be graduating from my home away from home in less than a month (I didn't feel like doing the math) and that alone is causing me enough emotional turmoil. Put on top of that all of my other problems (adding to the drama that I certainly do NOT need)

I just want to be done. Give me that scholarship money for a car, and let me drive far away. I will come back eventually, when all that cash has run out and I think all of my problems have dissolved, I can guarantee that. I could also guarantee that I will have much more knowledge about myself and the world when I get back, and I know that I will have had one hell of a time doing it.

Decisions decisions...

Peace.