ALL GONE!!

INSANELY LARGE FREAK OUT ON THIS PAGE THAT INVOLVES MUCH FLAILING AND SCREAMING NOISES!! 

Well ladies and gentleman, I finally did it. All of my hair is gone. I mean not ALL of it, but a pretty good portion of it. Thirteen and a half inches to be exact. Well that is how much ended up in the ponytail, add a bunch of extra for styling and whatnot.

I have never been more happy. I feel very free and a little bit reckless (even though I have been looking forward to it for a VERY long time) I'm sure that in a couple of weeks I will wake up and hate it with a burning passion because I just want the comfort of a braid or high ponytail or bun, but alas I have made my bed, so now I must sleep in it. But if I do say so myself, the bed is very nice and I am not hating the thought of sleeping in it.

Goodnight!

Peace.

Making Magic

The theater is magic...

I don't know when I started to comprehend this phrase, but here is what I know it to be now. It isn't just the magic of putting on a show for the people we love, that is part of it, but it is so much more. It is the ability of the biggest rag-tag bunch of people to come together and make something special. Something that will never be the same, and in the process, becoming different themselves. Through all of the grueling practices and late nights and tired mornings, we all come together and become a completely insane family. There really are no words to describe just how much I absolutely love everyone, and even if I tried, I know that it wouldn't be enough. Everyone has their place in this dysfunctional family, and it wouldn't be the same without everyone. I would take the time to talk about everyone individually, but then this post would be about 5 pages long, so if you are reading this, and you know who you are, I love you to the end of the world, and then after.

...

I can't believe it's over...

I think I am still expecting to come back next year and try out for whatever TBecks decides to attempt (and ultimately pull off). It comes so much faster than I can even tell you. It was always sad to see the seniors go, but I guess I never really thought that it would be me someday. I always looked at them as so much older and more experienced, ready to go do their own thing, and as I am there in some aspects of my life, I can say with absolute certainty that DASH theater is not one of them. I am so afraid of going somewhere completely different and nobody ever getting me like you guys do. 

Thinking about how fast this all rushed past me makes me think about how fleeting everything is. No matter what, you can't hold onto it forever. You just have to make the most of the time you have. Now for a few notes to my fellow theater people.

To the sophomores: take nothing for granted, the end will come so much faster than you are anticipating. I cannot stress just how important it is that you cherish every second. I love you guys.

To the juniors who don't think that you can do it. You can. I know that it is terrifying to be the one that everyone looks to, but believe me when I say that you guys are so ready. You are all so incredibly talented, it baffles me sometimes. I cannot wait to see the amazing things you do next year. I am so proud of all of you.

To my seniors: I have had one hell of a ride with you. We have seen each other grow from the awkward freshman to the badass bitches we are today. Thank you for putting up with my extremely... well I don't really even know how to explain myself, but regardless. I have LOVED every minute of our time together both on and off the stage. I will remember you forever.

...Blessed are those who make that magic!

Peace.

Good Clouds

While walking home today, I saw some of the best clouds EVER! They were the typical fluffy cartoon style clouds, but in REAL LIFE. They were hovering over the downtown buildings, and I sincerely hope that someone in the tall towers felt like they were superman/woman flying through the incredible Cumulus clouds.

I couldn't help but let out an "Oh my god" accompanied with a small scream, because, when something is that beautiful, I told my walking companion, you just have to scream. She disagreed, but I think that even if it is not an external scream, it should at least be internal. I mean, when something is that amazing, doesn't it deserve a little recognition? 

Anyways, it was definitely one of those moments when I remembered what was really important. The stress taking accumulating in my back and shoulders was alleviated for mere seconds, but it was enough to remind me that everything is going to be okay. I'm sure that the nap I just took sure didn't hurt either.

This weekend is Godspell and Relay for Life... Everything will be okay... I just have to keep reminding myself that.

Peace.

SURPRISE!

No, not for me. I still have yet to experience the extreme surprise of close friends popping out of hiding places to simultaneously scare the shit out of me and reduce me to probable tears, but this was just as great. The night was complete with a strobe light and dancing and semi-permanent tattoos. (Changing for gym sure will be interesting!) But the best part of it all had to have been Abigail's face when she walked through the door, and then later when, in the middle of watching a twister game, Noah came out with her banjo. We were all incredibly surprised by the lack of tears, but apparently she cried for two hours when she got home (out of happiness of course). 

Maybe it was the fact that I decided to go three hours before, or just that the assortment of people there made for a pretty interesting time, but last night was a complete blast. I can only remember a couple of other times when I have come home this happy and this exhausted at the same time. I woke up this morning and my back was sore, but it was completely and undoubtedly worth it. All I know is that if I were to do it over again... I wouldn't have attempted to take a 10 minute nap, but I guess it makes for a pretty funny memory.

Peace.

My life I guess

Here is my life at the moment...

School Kind of sucks, not that I didn't already know that, but I am just so beyond done with all of my classes, and I don't know why my teachers are even attempting to teach me anything.

But as much as school sucks, the theater, which has always been my place to escape from everything that I don't want to deal with, sucks even more. 

It's really quite sad when one of your safe places becomes something that you dread going to anymore. A rant will follow now, so if you don't feel like reading it, feel free to skip. I don't know why, but this year, it just seems that everyone has stopped trying in the drama department. Nothing is the same, and it makes me really sad. It just seems like virtually nobody cares, and when it feels like you are pulling so hard for something to work, and everyone is just sitting around enjoying the ride, it's really not fun at all. Also we perform in a week... I hate everything.

NEXT

Ed Sheeran (a.k.a one of my favorite people in the universe) is in town, and I cannot see him. This alone deserves a post of its own. Long story short, I am sad about this, but am also hopeful that I will see him someday when he does not have the flu.

I read the entire A Fault in our Stars last night. That was a roller coaster of emotion that, sadly to report, does not only go up.

Of course, this is not everything, but I think it's enough sharing time for now, I don't want to bore you all to tears.

Peace.

Dream

I think that I have dreams every night, but I also think that I only remember the ones that matter. They usually involve people that I know or places that I have seen. Last night was different. 

I had a dream that I was on a trip for some sort of class I think. I was with people that I have never seen before, but I didn't really care that I didn't know them. We were in an old style rustic type home, probably a mansion of some sort, so of course, I decided to go exploring. On my little adventure, I opened up a window that looked like nobody had ever opened, and I saw the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. There was a field of violets and purple salvia with dogwood and empress trees scattered around the edges, and behind them was a mountain range. Not an intimidating one, but inviting. I was so entranced by it that I barely heard the man come up behind me and say "it's really quite beautiful, isn't it" of course I agreed, and he responded with "nobody else has ever tried to look out this window, and I don't know why." After he left I decided to take off my shoes and climb through the window. I think it was one of the best decisions ever made. Walking through all of the flowers and things, the colors and smells were so vivid it surprises me to remember them. I was not sad to be alone, I was just enjoying the present. However, I woke up slowly and was not worried about visiting that place again. The only thing that I could think was that I would have really enjoyed if someone was there to share the beauty with. Because, really, it was quite astounding.

P.S. after coming to terms with the fact that I was in reality and not that dream anymore, I decided to open up my curtains and greet the day. Little did I know that I would be greeted by a blizzard. I have now decided that I have not come to terms with the fact that I am not in that dream. 

Anyone care to join me?

Peace.

Windy Morning

I just saw a piece of paper fly past my window. At first this made me upset, I thought to myself, "why can't people just recycle"but then I thought of all the possibilities that that paper could be. 

It started out simple, like a lost piece of homework blown from the school a block away, but suddenly my imagination got the best of me. I wondered if perhaps that paper could have been a love note, scrawled during the early hours of the morning,before anyone was awake, and left on the kitchen counter for someone to see. Quickly grabbed in the morning rush of things, and accidentally let go in the breeze. 

Then I guess I came back to reality to realize that today is Tuesday, trash day, and that piece of paper was most likely blown out of someone's recycling. But then again, I don't really know, so I think I am just going to go with the love note. Hey, a girl can dream can't she?

Peace.

On this note, if you have not seen "Paperman" you should really look that up. Disney really has a knack for short films.